Monday, March 8, 2010, by Sherra
I was a bargain shopper way before it become chic and cool.
Mostly made chic and cool because of the horrible economy.
This makes me chic and cool way before we were poor.
Which I think is the ultimate chic and cool.
Or not.
I have been a bargain shopper since my high school days.
It’s something about the thrill of not paying retail.
I’m the person who goes directly to the back of the store to the clearance racks and never even really looks at the mannequins in the window as I know I can’t afford it. And if I could, I would never pay retail.
Part of is the thrill of the find. The other part is saving money.
Look at what I scored for Scary Baby in February.
Yes, that’s right. 5 new articles of clothing ~ a hoodie, matching pants, a top and two sweaters. The very cute brown velour hoodie and matching pants were $2.99 each! Woo hoo!
Side note: Pictures of the aforementioned items would have been chic and cool. I was so busy scanning the receipts I obviously didn’t think about the actual clothes.
So glad I was shopping for new dress pants for myself. That’s why I ended up with 5 new sweaters and a top. Because you have to be flexible when bargain shopping.
Fortunately, I’m very flexible. 
I do so love a store that doesn’t make me do that math.
According to Belk, I SAVED a grand total of $336.51.
Come back Wednesday to find out what I could do with all my savings!!
Until then, leave a comment and tell me about your best bargain score. What’s the best bargain you ever found while shopping? (Doesn’t have to be clothes…)
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Little Lessons
Friday, March 5, 2010, by Sherra
I know we have a 10 year-old here at the Humpfreeze house so I try to keep the blog PG with an occasional PG-13.
There are few words that can accompany this. Other than we went to get a bill of sale notarized at the bank because Wizzy is buying my beloved blue VW bug.
Why, oh, why wouldn’t you change your full legal name?
PhilBillPaul and Wizzy thought I said that way too loud as we walked out of the office.
Whatever.
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Categories: Finding the Funny
Wednesday, March 3, 2010, by Sherra
Can we review the question I posed in February when I revealed my unhealthy addiction to The Bachelor?
“Which person do you want to bring home to your parents and will fit in with your family, friends, lifestyle and personal values?”
Vienna Sausage is that GIRL?!!
Seriously?!!
Fit in with your family?
Fit in with your friends?
Fit in with lifestyle?
Fit in with your personal values?
That would be no, no, no and no according to everything we saw and what he revealed about himself.
And especially after we saw his whole family.
Jake the Rebel
He decided to play the role of “bad boy” and pick the “dirty girl”.
Wrong on so many levels but I’m sure I’ll tune into their wedding next year.
That will probably be after I enter a 12-step recovery program to break this addiction after fast forwarding through those 3 hours last night.
And if I didn’t get enough of Jake during this lame, lame season…
ABC has the audacity to have him as one of the contestants on Dancing With The Stars.
Or as I like to call it “Dancing With The Stars Who Are Sometimes Not Stars or Have Never Been Stars.”
Which will now live up to its title by including Kate Gosselin and Jake. Why didn’t they round it out with the Octomom for an even dozen contestants?
I can totally picture Jake and Pamela Anderson hitting it off. It’s a shame they can’t be partners.
The only word I can think of to describe the whole thing right now…
Icky.
P.S. For a play-by-play of the whole excruciating finale without having to watch it – don’t miss i hate green beans very funny recap of the whole thing.
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments, Rants
Monday, March 1, 2010, by Sherra
We spent time with our only child – Scary Baby – who has informed us that she’s not really enjoying her special time as an only child.
Her words: “I’m still not getting any attention.”
Wow, another resounding endorsement of our parenting skills. Not that we’re listing her as a reference.
We get this text as we were leaving Jenna’s basketball game…
Wizzy (6:27 pm): Messed up my foot im on the way to the er. 
Im hurtin
Nothing like having your kid at the Emergency Room a few states away. Obviously, we’re still new at this separation thing.
*****
Next, the Grunter calls during dinner and asks if we can bring his prescription to work for him.
Side note: After the steroid shot and new antibiotic, he proceeded to break out in hives last week. Which got him another round of steroids which is what he forgot to take to work after missing two weeks.
While we waited to hear how Wizzy was doing and spent more quality time with Scary Baby at dinner and grocery store, we stopped by the house and picked up The Grunter’s medicine.
This was our text message exchange:
Me: Confirm w/me what u need us to bring u
Everett: My steroid with the pink cap
Me: Can u come to mall door when we get there?
no response
Me: We’re on our way & we will leave it in the first potted plant on the right when u walk out if u can’t meet us at main mall door.
Everett: I cannot come out. If you can’t bring it up to door then don’t bother with something stupid. I just won’t take it.
Me: Baby
no response
Me: Have the hives zapped ur sense of humor?
The Grunter: Yessir
Almost at this same moment, Roger Leroy sent me this text:
Roger Leroy (9:27 pm): The xray was fine. And she just hurt the ligaments and she should be fine.
*****
Sunday afternoon’s live conversation…
Me: You were kind of ugly about your medicine when we were going out of our way to bring it to you, don’t you think?
The Grunter: I can’t leave when I’m working.
Me: OH PLEASE. I’ve seen you all at work. Don’t tell me you can’t say “Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, I’ve gotta run to the front door…hold my broom, will ya?”
The Grunter: I CAN’T.
Me: It’s not like you’re on high security detail at the movies. Give me a break. You could be a little nicer when we were helping you out!
The Grunter: Bye.
Me: Have a lovely day pumpkin.
*****
Sunday night’s email picture update:
And finally, this sweet little status on Roger Leroy’s Facebook that I saw on Saturday night after all the fun…
Sweet on the surface.
Until I asked her what she missed about home. And she clarified that she meant she missed…
Georgia.
Yes, this is my real life.
How was your weekend?
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments, Teens, Tweens
Wednesday, February 24, 2010, by Sherra
I love to save money whenever possible. Who doesn’t? Especially these days!
But I’m not afraid to say I’m a brand snob about certain things. I won’t do generic to save pennies or even quarters on certain items. Mostly health and beauty items as well as some food items.
I’ve always been impressed with the quality of the store brands of one of my favorite shopping places…Target! Who the heck doesn’t love Target?
Imagine my surprise when I pulled this out of my Tar-jay kleenex tissue box last week.
Ahem. Is that painter’s tape holding the tissue together?
Did a human or machine include it in my box?
Of course, I had to photograph it. And summons PhilBillPaul to inspect it.
I realize it is not a dead rodent or a smashed bug which would totally have put me over the edge.
Still, I’m concerned. The box is about three quarters used. Not like the last tissue in the box. Which would also be disturbing.
Are they taping tissues together on the production line?
Should I return the whole box which was in a package of 3 boxes?
Should I write a letter to Target and kindly request a lifetime supply of tissues?
Or should I just blog about it, throw it away and move on?
Weigh in please. I respect your opinions, my friends.
Especially after you all agreed with me on the Team Tiger debacle.
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Categories: Finding the Funny
Monday, February 22, 2010, by Sherra
Surely, you didn’t miss the top news story on Friday (that shouldn’t have been the top news story).
Don’t panic, I won’t be regularly reviewing the behavior of professional athletes. I just couldn’t let this one go because I’m such a huge golf fan.
How do I apply to be part of Tiger Woods Damage Control Crisis Management Team?
First, let me address the positive points. Okay, make that point.
The only thing I did agree with – that the media should not chase Tiger’s children or wife because of his grave mistakes.
Here are a few suggestions if I were on Team Tiger’s P.R. staff:
•Hire people who will tell you the truth.
Typically, these would be old, married women/mothers (like me) who are not speechless in the presence of your self-perceived greatness.
Having “yes” people falling all over you is that last thing you need right now.
•Speak from your heart, don’t read from cards.
Use a bullet point list with keywords to trigger your memory.
Come on, are you telling me you can’t memorize your heartfelt apology but you can memorize every golf course, every shot you’ve ever taken?
Seems like it would be a perfect time for you to use that steely determination and ice cold competitive edge to stand up and take your punishment.
Lose the script ~ no one wants to hear a highly scripted apology. You actually had to look down at your notes to remember the 2nd descriptive adjective your team had written about Elin.
•Work on your level of sincerity.
You’ve been arrogant for so long it’s time for some real sincerity and that takes a lot more change and practice. I just didn’t feel it.
Is there a rehab for celebrity arrogance?
Tiger’s Special Rules
You said you thought your success and life of privilege led you to think you could live by a different set of rules.
Your well-orchestrated apology with all your special rules like banning most of the media and handpicking your audience shows that you still think you have a separate set of rules.
We all know that the media wouldn’t be banned if you were making some big golf announcement.
You have impacted the lives and livelihood of others with your poor choices and your giant ego.
You have tarnished the game of golf — one of the last of the sports that we can still refer to as a “gentleman’s game.”
Newsflash
Yes, you are held to a higher standard than the rest of us.
Because that’s what happens when you choose to become a sports star, sign million dollar endorsement deals trying to influence our buying decisions and become a billionaire.
Believe it or not, there are more important things than the public hearing about your marital problems. But as voyeurs into the life of the rich and famous, it comes with your job. You chose this life and you chose the behavior.
You can’t keep it all private when you left a trail of evidence for the world to see and hear. Your lack of discretion has created a sad and nasty peek into your life that frankly, none of us ever wanted to know about.
Own it.
Stop trying to control everything.
Start being human.
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Categories: Rants
Friday, February 19, 2010, by Sherra
How would we know if The Grunter has mono?
He’s been tired and listless for years.
He goes at one speed.
S-L-O-W
Like father, like son. No truer words have been spoken.
Happy and relieved to report that his blood test from Monday’s doctor appointment came back normal.
I had flashbacks of days with toddlers and sleepless nights, after he woke me up at 3:00 am and 5:30 am Wednesday night/Thursday morning with Scary Baby joining me in bed at 5:45 am.
I’m way too old for this.
Please remember that he is TWENTY years old.
The Grunter told me his throat was swelling shut and he could barely swallow. He and Scary Baby share the “drama gene” so I did what I do best. In my most caring nurse’s voice I said:
“Sip water from a straw and go back to bed and we’ll call the doctor when they open.”
Side note: When he was 3 years old, he fell out of his bed in the middle of the night and hit his head on his dresser. In the dark, we told him to go back to bed. In the morning we discovered he had a huge goose egg on his forehead. Please don’t call DFACS, I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out. The guilt has not.
After a re-evaluation appointment, it seems he does have a raging case of tonsilitis and they are almost touching. Total heebie jeebies.
A new antibiotic and a steroid shot in his rear we think he’s on the upswing.
Praying for sleep for all of us this weekend! Have a good one…
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments
Wednesday, February 17, 2010, by Sherra
Excerpt from my Monday post…
I want to move to Hawaii.
I’m psychic.
Because Hawaii was just named Happiest State to live in.
Which led me to ponder…
Is Happiness really a state of mind. Or just the state you live in?
If I move to Hawaii will I be happier?
The top 10 states and their average well-being scores (out of a possible 100 points):
- Hawaii: 70.2
- Utah: 68.3
- Montana: 68.3
- Minnesota: 67.8
- Iowa: 67.6
- Vermont: 67.4
- Colorado: 67.3
- Alaska: 67.3
- North Dakota: 67.3
- Kansas: 67.2
I find it fascinating that the other 9 states listed all have full blown winters so perhaps that seasonal affect disorder that I’m sure I have is really a myth. Hmm.
Georgia ranked 25th with a score of 66.1. I guess that’s why I’m moderately happy.
Out of curiousity, do people get depressed when they find out their state is in the bottom 10?
Go check out where your state falls on the list and let me know if it matches your state of happiness.
Bad TV that makes me happy
I also admitted on Monday that I actually watch The Bachelor.
Please don’t hold it against me.
And if you don’t watch, you can stop reading right now and move on to the next item on your “to do” list. I like to save you time whenever possible.
In true confessions form, I don’t think I’ve missed a season even though I swear every season that I’m not watching it again. My friend Nancy and I have been re-capping it from the beginning.
The last two seasons I let the darling twins watch it with me.
Side note: We had pretty strict TV rules until about 10th grade which is about the time we also lost control as parents and became the stupidest people they know.
The show has so many great teachable moments about dating that I consider it an educational tool. Well, that and it also has tons of comedy that makes us love our DVR pause and replay feature even more.
I know I’m weighing in late in the season to give my opinion but I’m compelled to share my psychic predictions about who Jake picks.
Now that he’s down to the final two – I pose the same question to the darling twins that I ask myself.
“Which person do you want to bring home to your parents and will fit in with your family, friends, lifestyle and personal values?”
Deep I know.
So will it be Tenley? Pretty, sweet, divorced, hurt, still reeling from divorce, insecure, divorced, a wee bit of a whiner, awkward dancer, oh and she is divorced in case you didn’t catch it because she mentions it about every other sentence in every freakin’ episode.
Or Vienna Sausage? Young, strange, immature, crazy eye, lives in swamplands of Florida, strange relationship with her father, lovely tattoo, strange hair color, wee bit of a beer gut, Hooters waitress.
Psychic Prediction: He picks no one.
Please Jake, pick no one.
Okay, maybe not psychic…more like wishful thinking.
Don’t forget to leave a comment and tell me what state you live in and how happy you are!
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Categories: Finding the Funny
Monday, February 15, 2010, by Sherra
Mini life update from the Humpfreeze house…
Flooded basement from all the rain.
PhilBillPaul has been sucking up gallons of water for over a week.
Rain turned to snow.
Blizzard in Atlanta. FOUR INCHES OF SNOW. (In case you didn’t hear.)
Okay, maybe it was more like two inches.
Scary Baby loved it! Poor southern snow-deprived child.
I want to move to Hawaii.
The Pumpkin has been sick for a week. We hope it’s not mono.
The darling twins and I have to discuss and review our favorite comedy TV show {The Bachelor} long distance now. They are settled and doing well in Arizona.
The Olympics are on and I have to watch all these winter sports I never watch except when the Olympics are on.
Thanks Karen for the heads up on my favorite Oompa Loompa who will be competing on Wednesday!
Straight from his website…
Louie will line up at the top of the superpipe among all of the snowboard Olympic athletes on Wednesday February 17th for the 2010 Winter Olympic Halfpipe finals. The event will be televised LIVE on NBC beginning at 8PM PST.
Obviously, I’m booked solid this week. Are you watching the Olympics? What’s your favorite event?
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Moments
Monday, February 8, 2010, by Sherra
Some people plan their blog posts.
Some people are organized.
Some people take pictures of the food before people start eating it.
Who are those “some people”?
Then I remind myself {again} that this is not a food blog. I’m slow like that.
We did change up our Annual Humpfreeze Superbowl Party tradition since the darling twins are in Arizona and The Grunter had to work.
Scary Baby carried on the sign making tradition.
She wanted her sisters to see that she managed without them.
We carried on the Knox Blox tradition.
She helped with the important toothpick pennants.
It was very nice for our Indiana friends to invite us over to cheer on the Indianapolis Colts for Superbowl last night.
Otherwise it would have been a tiny party of three at our house.
A few appetizers and some blue popcorn and pretzels drizzled in blue were transported over along with our Knox Blox.
Side note: The desserts were not half eaten when we arrived.
There was a ridiculous amount of delicious food which is mandatory for Superbowl parties, isn’t it?
And if the Colts had to lose, it was to a very well-deserving team. The New Orleans Saints really shined and that city is so worthy of the victory!
Good food, good friends, good game…it was a good weekend.
How was yours?
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Categories: Finding the Funny, Food, Friends, Tweens
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